I read a blog post tonight from a good friend in which he mentioned that he feels he is getting to a place where he can stop swimming and start wading. My mind instantly created a visual picture of this and I hope he doesn't mind me hijacking this thought.
I thought about how I could better express my feelings tonight as maybe flailing or doggy paddling rather than swimming. I wouldn't say I'm drowning but I also don't know that I would quite say I'm swimming and certainly not wading. Perhaps a better visual would be swimming up stream just barely over the edge of Niagara Falls. I haven't quite gone over the edge yet but boy does it feel close.
One reading this might think things are pretty bad for me right now. In some regards I could agree. However, I feel fortunate to have things so good. Am I on the verge of drowning? Perhaps. I am, however, not drowning and am able to look forward and determine what I need to do in order to simply be swimming with the hopes of being able to soon be wading and eventually to be relaxing on the sandy shore. I have felt this potential drowning in a very real, physical sense this weekend and it was a good trigger for me to mentally evaluate what's going on and come up with some sort of steps to "make it to the sandy shore".
I've sat in that beach chair under an umbrella with a cold drink before and I'm looking forward to being there again.
Cheers.
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You described this feeling so well. All of life is like that. My only comment is, that living for so long in between the sandy shore and the edge of the falls, you can become a really good swimmer. It is tiring though.
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