Fear of failure

Really, the fear of perceived failure but either way I don't like it.

Once again it's late and I should be in bed (as many of these posts go) but here I am writing out some thoughts.  The past couple of days have been fairly significant but I want to focus on one seemingly simple aspect.  Today marked the end of a pretty significant 6-month relationship.  Six months really isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, I realize, but when a relationship is as good as this was, it feels pretty significant.  Last night, as we were discussing the benefits of, or rather lack of, us staying together, there was this fear that kept lurking in my mind: "If this relationship ends, you've failed".

This was the first relationship that I was open with my family about.  Not only am I now analyzing my actions and intentions over the past 6 months to identify areas of improvement, there's now a fear of my family deeming this a failure validating their stance on same-sex relationships and marriage.  This discussion may very well occur.  However, as he & I were talking about this fear last night (his family is very open and accepting of me and of him dating so he doesn't fully understand) I didn't personally feel this way.  I have grown in several ways, perhaps the most important is further developing my capacity to love.

Today's been a hard day seeing this come to a close.  However, I feel confident that for so many reasons, the old saying remains true: "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all".

Andy