Emotions. Wow they've been a mess the past few weeks. They're such powerful things and can have such an impact on our lives. There have been two major emotions I've been feeling lately and two minor. I'm working on trying to switch them.
For some reason, with my roommate and best friend moving out, I have felt so totally lost. I don't know what it is but there have been several times during the past 9 days since he officially moved that I have felt totally lost and just cried feeling so lost. Its amazing, and this is where one of the minor emotions comes into play, because I generally consider myself a pretty confident person. However, as was so kindly pointed out recently by BHG I believe, I'm weak. Its true. I've found myself trying to figure out what to do with myself because even though my roommate and I didn't necessarily do everything together, I had a good foundation for making choices that was partially based on his decisions and he & I's friendship. I don't have that same foundation and that's been hard for me. Like I said though, I'm working on switching those two emotions: lost & confident.
The other strong emotion has been despair. I recently read some emails from the Northstar group which I hadn't done in months. For whatever reason, reading them brought me such strong feelings of despair and hopelessness. It was not pleasant at all to say the least. Luckily enough, I talked with a good friend about things some and he made some good points and confirmed what I was kind of thinking about them already. Along with these feelings of despair, however, I've had some very interesting feelings of peace about my relationship with my Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ and where I'm at in life right now.
These are just a couple of examples of some of my emotions as of late. I'll try and write more later but in the meantime, I'm looking forward to taking Monday & Tuesday off and hopefully working on some of my emotional imbalances.
We'll see.
Andy
p.s. there's a really good chance I'll be getting a dog soon! :)
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Andy, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down lately. Give me a call sometime. Love you my friend!
ReplyDelete@Bravone-Thanks for your love. I really have been feeling better overall about life but when I'm honest with myself about what I'm feeling and not trying to suppress or hide anything some of these things come out and it's been interesting to think about. It's good to have these experiences I feel so that I can continue to grow and evolve. :) Love ya!
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, you are not weak. What I said, I still stand by, but was not a blanket statement. Self esteem doesn't define a person, the fact that you write a blog, where you bare yourself to the world, even behind the veil of secrecy that we all subscribe to, shows that you are anything but weak. The difference between the two of us, is I am much to stubborn, and much too proud to ever give in. You have so much in common with the thousands of us out there. Embrace who you are, and try to be proud of yourself. I am not sure if you are the "Andrew" that commented on my post about the seminar, if so...I was very harsh and I am sorry. If not then it is superfluous, and I hope this wasn't too odd! Have a great day, and if you want to talk send me an email at Snazzynss@gmail.com I might have a different insight than most. Have a great day Andy, and I hope the roommate situation goes well.
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