Emotions...

Sorrow is an interesting emotion.  I experienced this emotion twice today for different but similar reasons.

This morning my dad emailed my family to share his opinion on a matter we were all discussing but also to let us know that an older gentleman from my hometown passed away this morning.  He was fortunate to leave this life through a quick & sudden heart attack but my mind quickly filled with sorrow for his special wife and the family he left behind.  They're great people and he will certainly be missed.  This emotion of sorrow filled me for part of the day today.

I had several events transpiring throughout my day today at work but one particular event this afternoon has been on my mind quite a bit.  If you've read my blog you know about the history between my best friend and I.  I love this guy so much and am so, so grateful for him and his influence in my life.  Because of my great love, respect and appreciation for him, I sometimes have a hard time seeing him suffer...and today was one of those days.  To make a long story short, the girl he has been hoping to marry someday called him this afternoon to let him know that there is a good chance she'll be marrying this other guy that she's been dating for a little while.  In her defense my buddy isn't ready for marriage yet so I don't blame her at all for this decision.  Truth be told, I respect her a lot for being the amazing person she is and for helping my buddy throughout the past few years as he's tried to develop himself and grow.  That being said, I've felt such sorrow for him this afternoon and this evening for his loss.  I'm proud of him for being strong and taking an approach to things that I'm sure most guys in his situation would not take but I know it's all but killing him inside.  This has been a powerful, emotional sorrow.

Sometimes I wonder why we have to experience things such as this.  Why does a spouse or a younger child or really, any loved one have to die, whether it be physically or perhaps even on an emotional, mental or social level, when, in most cases, we're not "ready" for that change yet?  I hung out with my buddy tonight and we'll spend a good portion of tomorrow together which will be nice but as we were hanging out tonight I couldn't help but reflect on the last four years of knowing him.  I look back to the time I met him and what a mess I was.  I had no idea who I was.  He has helped me in so many ways and I've appreciated the opportunities I've had to help him over the years.  I was pondering whether or not I thought he would regret the circumstances through which we met.  I didn't ask him.  I don't think he does.  His life has been very interesting to watch unfold and I feel lucky for the many, many talks we have had over the years about the gospel, this life, our individual experiences, our families, etc.

So then, back to my question, why do we have to experience tough things in this life such as sorrow?  I think perhaps because it gives us an opportunity to reflect and identify the times in our life when we have experienced joy and happiness on any level including simple pleasures of life to unexplainable happiness through various events of life.

I love this guy.  He's truly my best friend.  I'm grateful to be a part of his life and have him be a part of mine.  How lucky we are to be on this earth and to experience emotions.