It's been a while....

a lot has happened since i last blogged.  i could take the time to try and revisit where i was at when i last wrote but i think i'll pass on the recap at this point and just blog a little about the present time.

i took a little mini-vacation this weekend from work.  i needed to use some time before the end of the year and in all reality, i really needed a break.  yesterday was a very nice day off.  today i was able to spend some time with a few of my nieces and nephews as well as a couple of my sisters and had a nice time.  i'm looking forward to some relaxing time on monday and even possibly skiing a little monday evening. :)

tonight it's late and i should really be in bed but i'm not.  instead i'm sitting here working through some of the many thoughts in my head.  tonight, my biggest struggle is two fold: 1. i don't know that i could live my life single...in fact i'm pretty sure i can't.  2. sometimes it's a little frustrating being gay because i've had several relationships with amazing girls that i could very possibly be married to right now...and i wouldn't be sitting here on my computer next to my empty king-sized bed.  i'm by no means seeking sympathy from anyone because this is certainly not the first time i've felt this way and i have no doubt that it will not be the last.  my purpose in writing tonight is rather to put down some thoughts in a physical form and out of my head.  i used to always use my blog for this purpose and through the course of every day life i seem to have forgotten the value in it.

the chorus of a particular song has been in my head tonight.  i met someone new a few weeks ago that i communicated with for a while and have been spending a little time with but have not been falling head over heels with like i would like to be.  tonight i had dinner with another friend that i've been talking with a little bit here and there and while dinner was good....nothing.  there's been one or two people over the course of the last 4 years that i've completely fallen for and they've been all i've thought about.  yet, over and over in my head i keep hearing:

"who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why i'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone"

tonight i've been working to get caught up on brothers & sisters as i've been a few weeks behind on the show.  for any of you that have read much of my blog you know how i feel about this show.  i was texting with a good friend of mine a little while watching it.  he made the comment that he wished nora could be his mom and while i can appreciate that, i replied with the simple fact that i'd settle for a hug from nora walker.

to that someone who is waiting to be held, be patient.  i'm looking for you too and we'll find each other.