Grateful for work and working out

I'm grateful for these two things. Perhaps I would be grateful for different things if my financial situation were better and I didn't feel like I needed to work two jobs but right now in my life, I'm grateful for these two things. They provide me with the perfect distraction to keep my mind off of the unpleasant situation I am in. I wonder what I'll do when I don't work two jobs. Tonight I had the night off from my part-time job and I came home and made some cookies while waiting for my roommate to get home from work so that we could watch No Country for Old Men. While I was cooking, I turned on some CMT on the TiVo. I don't know that I'll do that again. As much as I like the music and the videos that were being played, I found myself so lonely. The reality of my current situation set in and I quickly found myself longing for someone to love and to be loved. I wanted someone in my life who cared for me, genuinely cared for me and was interested in my life and wanted to be with me as well. I im'd with a good friend and expressed my thoughts regarding being torn between wanting a wife and family so badly yet feeling so strongly the need to be close with a man and wondering how it will all work out. I didn't have any answers and kept feeling myself becoming more and more lonely. I didn't feel depressed, at least my definition of depressed but I could easily see how someone could feel so much despair to cause a deep depression. I decided that while there is nothing I could do to fix the problem tonight, I can go to the gym and workout so after the movie was done, and my dishes were washed, I did just that. Now I sit here, with icy hot on my calves from pushing them monday night and tonight, I find myself thinking about things agin. However, those thoughts are for another post as this post is one for expressing gratitude. I'm grateful that I was able to go to the gym and take a break from reality, from my reality, for a little bit.