As I have been reading several blogs tonight, I had a desire to speak with one individual a little more in depth. I decided I would send him an email and as I was doing so, I felt prompted to publish the majority of my email as a post on this blog. I am sure there are others who either feel or have felt similarly and I would love to hear any feedback that you are willing to share. With that:
"...I have this desire to talk with you a little more personally about your experience and get some advice for my life but I'm hesitant to do so. It may seem weird that I'm hesitant but in all honesty, and perhaps you've felt the same way, I'm most nervous because what if I fail? What if I get my life in order, which I'm already working on, meet an amazing women who is open, understanding, and accepting of me as a person, we have a family, and then all of a sudden, it's to much for me to handle and I give in to that old life? In short, it's easier for me to not even attempt to go down that path than it is to think of the possibility of failure and ruining so many lives. I know that you can't make that decision for me but..."
Thanks to you all for everything!
Andy, First thank you for your earlier posts today. They helped create a sense of peace that I have carried with me all day. I love the Alpine drive. It is truly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteTo your last post, I offer what I have learned from experience. If you have read my blog, you know that I did start down that the right path and fail, again and again. If I, or my wife were asked, would you do it again, knowing now what you know, the answer would be a resounding absolutely. Mixed in with all my failures have been many successes, spiritual moments, wonderful experiences.
Shortly after coming back into full fellowship, I committed to my wife that I would never hid anything from her again, never lie. But then I asked her, "Honey, what if I fall again? If I don't lie to you and tell you I have slipped in some way again, then what?" She hugged me and said,"We will start over again!"
I hope you won't not try because of fear of failure. I hope you find someone as dear as my wife, who understands that as my eternal companion, we can and will work through anything.
Have faith in Him who is mighty to save, who can and does work miracles in our lives.
Bravone...thanks for this comment. I have said it before and I'll say it again that I so very much appreciate your insights and all that you share both in your own blog as well as on others. As I read your comment I couldn't help but think to myself, "How does your wife feel about being cloned?" :) I have a couple of co-workers who have amazing wives and I think to myself, how do I find someone like that? yet I know it's in doing the things the Lord would have me do to allow him to bless me. Thanks again.
ReplyDeleteWow, I was going to comment, but bravone said so much so well.
ReplyDeleteObviously it's up to you. The decision to try, how you deal with the setbacks, if there is and what a breaking point would be, etc. These are things that are completely up to your interpretation. As for your would be wife and children. That's not so much in your hands, I would think. But, you can do so much to encourage them toward the better decisions when those times come.
The questions you asked have different answers specific for each individual. Andy, you are a very integritable and caring person. Your presence is such that others feel safer/happier for spending time with you. Could I see marraige working for you? Heck yeah. How do you feel about it when you pray or when you're pondering in a spiritual place?
Love ya man. I guess we'll see how things work out. See ya tonight. :D