Balance

What a week. In looking back over the past couple of weeks I am amazed at what has taken place and where I am. While I have not enjoyed the feelings and emotions of the past week, I'm grateful to have experienced them. It's late and I should be in bed but there's a good chance I'll call in sick tomorrow for a much needed break. I wanted to take a couple of minutes and share my thoughts of this evening. As you can see from the title of this post the word, or perhaps idea of, balance has been on my mind. Two weeks ago I was reading every post of every blog I could get a hold of. I couldn't get enough. I was checking certain blogs often practically salivating at the thought of there being a new post or even a new comment that I could read and implement in my life or at the very least, relate to. Then, over the course of a couple of days and due to a few factors such as not getting good sleep, purchasing Call of Duty (which I don't regret mind you) and playing it until after 4:00 am, and plenty of working...I crashed. My body, mind, spirit, etc was so exhausted that I could barely handle life. Last Saturday night was completely miserable for me and I don't ever want to experience that again. Sunday I decided I wasn't going to blog anymore for a while and that included reading others' blogs. Monday & Tuesday my mind was torn because I longed for the connections with my fellow bloggers but I told myself I wouldn't go there. On Sunday I also joined a couple of North Star groups and man do they email! I had to change some settings on my blackberry because I could hardly get anything done between all of the emails that were coming. In one night I totally crashed and within 3 or 4 days I felt like I had swung in a completely different direction. I have spent the last day or two trying to figure out what the heck is going on and this evening it came to me. I let my life get so out of balance that I crashed and because I was so out of balance I didn't know where my center was and I reacted to quickly to find it and went right past it. I have since decided to take things a little slower and work on finding that "center" in my life. I'm looking forward to the fireside tomorrow. I'm still considering playing a piano song that I've been working on but I'm not sure if I'm up for that or not. As I'm typing this I have my blog open in another window so that I can hear the songs that I've picked for my blog and Cherie Call just sang, "Oh my restless soul, trying hard to take control, worn out from standing still, knowing what I am and hoping that I can find, a way to make it real". How true that rings home for me at this point. My soul is indeed restless and at the same time, I know who I am. However, it isn't always easy to know how to make it "real". That's what I'm doing though. Working on rejuvenating my soul and hopefully allowing it a chance to work through some of the issues that have slowed it down from progressing.

Thanks to all of you that have been patient with me and offered encouraging words and advice. Thanks to you for publishing your blogs. Despite how I was feeling, I still read your blogs and though I tried hard not to feel good while reading them, it was impossible. I'm grateful for that. Thanks.